The Bard’s Quest for a Mortgage


Ladies and gentlemen, lords and ladies, gather round as we transport the legendary bard, William Shakespeare, to our modern age – quill in one hand and mortgage application in the other. Behold the delightful drama that unfolds as we delve into whether lenders of today would take a gamble on the man behind the immortal verses!

A Bard with a Reliable Paycheck:

Picture Shakespeare, the consummate playwright, sauntering into the world of mortgage underwriting. His steady job at the Globe Theatre, churning out timeless tales of star-crossed lovers and comedic chaos, paints him as a reliable source of income. This kind of steady paycheck is music to a lender’s ears, as dependable as the rhythmic beats of a sonnet.

Shrewd Shakespeare: The Business Tycoon:

As the underwriter scribbles notes on their parchment, they uncover a hidden gem in the Bard’s financial portfolio – his success as a savvy businessman. From dabbling in the grain trade to investments in prime real estate, Shakespeare’s knack for turning a profit rivals the intrigue in his own dramas. The underwriter chuckles, pondering whether Shakespeare could’ve given King Lear a lesson in fiscal responsibility.

The Bard’s Abode Empire: Properties Galore:

Amidst the quirk and quill, the underwriter’s eye twitches in pleasant surprise as they discover the Bard’s ownership of multiple properties. From a Stratford-upon-Avon residence and a property in Blackfriars, Shakespeare’s other properties with need to be considered for affordability for the great Bard. The underwriter nods, for they understand the value of a diversified property portfolio as well as a well-versed monologue.

The Lifespan Quandary: A Time-Traveling Worry:

The underwriter’s brow furrows, a look of bewilderment mirroring the average lifespan of Shakespeare’s time – a mere 30 years. Concerns unfurl across the ages: would the Bard live long enough to settle his debts? This twist in the tale introduces an element of suspense to the application process, akin to a Shakespearean twist that keeps the audience on the edge of their seats.

The Grand Finale: To Lend or Not to Lend?

Dear readers, we stand at the climax of our tale. Would a lender extend the hand of mortgage

acceptance to the Bard? In a flourish of quill and calculated contemplation, the underwriter’s decision hangs in the balance. Will they see Shakespeare as a financial virtuoso, or will the constraints of time and uncertainty weigh them down? I think he would struggle to afford to buy another property today with cost of housing in the UK and his short life expectancy. That said he would probably have a fair bit of equity in his current properties to draw upon if he needed.

Conclusion: The Bard’s Mortgage Encore?

As the curtain falls on our fanciful journey, we’re left to speculate. Would lenders of our age place their bets on the bard’s steady job, business prowess, and burgeoning property empire? Could they overlook the specter of a 30-year lifespan, driven by the eternal allure of the Bard’s potential? Just as a Shakespearean play ends with a triumphant bow or a poignant exit, so does our tale – with the question of whether the Bard’s mortgage quest would be a comedy, a tragedy, or a resounding encore.